bear parade

the blog


A Pushcart Can Be Won

2008 Bear Parade Pushcart Nominations

1. Eat When You Feel Sad by Zachary German
2. Nosferatu by Noah Cicero


the pushcart nomination process

Gene: i am still working on the book
i want to finish

me: i want you to finish
whenever you finish
i will link

Gene: it will be soon
i have what i want it to look like

me: people will read
more excitement in the world

Gene: i need to do pushcart
i don't have time

me: want me to do it?
does it require postal mail

Gene: yes

me: i can do it
did you pick which ones
i just bought stamps

Gene: they are all good

me: you have a wife, i should do it

Gene: []

me: should i just pick the ones they said in the comment section

Gene: yes
i like those

me: okay i will do this tomorrow

Gene: good
thank you

me: you're welcome

Gene: they have to be there by december 1st
but you live in new york
so it shouldn't take long

me: is it postmark date

Gene: it doesn't say

me: probably is

Gene: there is no entry fee though
i like pushcart
they take everything from everywhere

me: i dont know who reads it though
rick moody maybe

Gene: he likes us

me: we rejeceted him

Gene: he wants to be "in" with us

me: he's writing a bear parade book now, agonizing
studying ofelia hunt's sentences

Gene: he will be jealous of daniel

me: he will punch his computer screen
then apply for another NEA grant

Gene: next year i am going to ask the houston endowment for the arts for $5,000
for bear parade
get mad city bills
i am going to be jobless
jobless asshole

me: i like jobless asshole more than jobless bitch

Gene: bitches are mean with purpose
assholes are mean by birth

me: that sounds like tagline for movie starring samuel l jackson
or adam sandler
or someone else

Gene: "Snakes on a Wedding Asshole"
starring adam sandler and samuel jackson
as gay men
who fight snakes
at a wedding

me: that sounds good
i shoudl email miranda july that

Gene: she could get it green lighted
hollywood wants her to make that movie

me: it woudl end up starring ben stiller and chris tucker
snakes on a wedding asshole
i'm laughing
elimae shoudl accept that sentence

Gene: i will email them

me: i'm going to post this gmail chat on bear parade blog, to show the pushcart process

Gene: mcsweeneys will like the plot synopsis
we take prizes serious
serious winnings
equal serious credibility

me: if we win we can put a jpeg of winner of pushcart prize over whoever won it
over their book
covering the text

Gene: i can do that easily
it's like three lines of code

me: prepare the code
so we can do it immediately

Gene: i will have it on standby
for eight months

me: ben lerner's book would have won bear parade something

Gene: we would be the first winner of the web nobel
Nobel Prize for Best Website 2008

me: Nobel Web Prize
al gore would present to us
bear parade is against global warming

Gene: We could have a high-resolution animated nobel gif on our site

me: we focus on animals more than humans
a spinning nobel prize icon that covers the entire sceren

Gene: a flash intro page

me: sponsorship from american airlines
bear parade flies american airlines

Gene: bear parade is so close to corporate sponsorship

me: is it alright if i post the chat, did we say anything incriminating
american airlines is discussing it, viewing the website on powerpoint screen
i'm going to poop

Gene: okay
post it
rick moody will like it

me: more exposure for him

Gene: rick moody could do our television commercials
authors don't do tv anymore
unless they're on oprah

me: wikiepdia, "He received a Master of Fine Arts degree from Columbia University in 1986; nearly two decades later he would criticize the program in an essay in The Atlantic Monthly.[1] Soon after finishing his thesis, he checked himself into a mental hospital for alcoholism.[2] Once sober and while working for Farrar, Straus and Giroux, he wrote his first novel, Garden State, about young people growing up in the industrial wasteland of northern New Jersey, where he was living at the time."
i want to read garden state

Gene: i saw george saunders a few weeks ago
i need to read more rick moody

me: george saunders read my books i think
i liked the ice storm i think

Gene: he seems really nice
i liked listening to him talk

me: i'm going to post the process
then begin working on things

Gene: good
i need to do my spanish homework



I forgot about the Pushcart deal. I have to have it in by the 1st of December.

We need to nominate some stories. Since there are only like three potential books, plus one I am going to release next week, I need to know which stories should be nominated. I think I can nominate six.

I am going to nominate Daniel's whole book as one, since no one outside of bear parade has read it.

Five more.

Tell me in the comments. The three latest books on the site. Read them again. They are all really nice and worth reading again. Pick five stories. I will figure it out using your suggestions. Help us. I need to go to the bathroom now.


here is a suggestion

this picture is a preview of the next bear parade book

if you want to make money, bear parade pays money for your work. rick moody amounts of money. so, if you have big balls like rick moody, why not try submitting? we rejected him.

another suggestion, if you don't like bear parade, why not try not submitting to bear parade? bear parade can publish like one book a year, and it will still exist. bear parade spends around thirty dollars a year on publishing, regardless of how many books it publishes.

the next book is SMALL PALE HUMANS by daniel spinks. it will be published in the next month. it is very easy to read and direct. i would say that almost every bear parade book requires a seventh grade reading level, so you can feel comfortable reading any of them. you can feel less isolated. your thoughts can feel less awkward, and the sadness that you, like every person, feel daily can gain some sort of significance in being insignificant.


bear parade is slow

i am reading submissions. i haven't replied to a few that were sent almost a month ago. i am sorry.

i am looking for a new book to work on.

this book must have at least ten poems or stories and be about something that i haven't thought of before. it also must be entertaining and somewhat violent. also, it should have non-sexual sex, and have fish in it somehow. the book must be at least 20% about fish.

please. i know i have rejected everyone, and made myself unlikable. please send me a book that is fit for bear parade, forgiveness. i will pay you in alcohol and books and whatever else. i have a collection of hats, you can have any of them.

email for a list of hats.